Do you like LEGO? Of course you do. You’re not a nihilist. At least, not yet…Anyway, if you’re like me, you thought your five-year old’s majestic LEGO creations of lopsided, doorless buildings and other feats of questionable structural engineering needed a proper road system. Because poor urban planning doesn’t benefit anyone, am I right? I am.Well, these are the official LEGO-branded roads that now exist in today’s day and age. An age that people of the past called “the future”. And an age that people of the future will no doubt call “the past”. That is, if language is still spoken after the unholy machines take over.But I digress. So let's get on with the ceremony.The latest official LEGO road plates come in two separate packs of two plates each:1. Straight and T-junction2. Curve and Crossroad.No, Virginia, you CANNOT buy just the straight pieces. Or just the curves. What are you, crazy? Are you on the akvavit? That would be too dang easy, my Danish friend. Apologies if you aren’t Danish. Also, apologies if you are.So, because of how these roads are packaged, to get the curves and straight roads you no doubt desire, you do what I did and buy more than you need. I mean, what loving parent wouldn’t be such a slave to commercialism? Right? And even though I had to buy more road plate packs than I wanted to, I cannot fault the quality. They are super sturdy and well-made, as is to be expected from LEGO. Tip: Buy them when they go on sale because, like a fine wine at the Cheesecake Factory, they are hella overpriced.But... something is rotten in the state of Denmark.Yes, something kind of sort of really stinks about these LEGO road plates. You see, I have LEGO from back when dinosaurs had just gone extinct. And that LEGO was recently bestowed unto my child when he turned five and realized that Duplo was for “stupid little babies”. My words, not his.My old LEGO contained straight, curve and t-junction road plates! Huzzah! I thought, “LEGO is a smart company. I bet their roads from back near the erecting of Stonehenge are handily interchangeable with the fast-moving, high-octane, in-your-face LEGO roads of today.”They... are. Sort... of.The new road plates ARE the same dimensions and thickness as the old road plates. That’s cool. But the new road plates are a much darker grey color and only have white markings instead of the sweet white and green markings of the old road plates. That’s not so cool. But it’s… okay.However, the biggest injustice served upon us by our butter cookie-making overlords?The new and old roads DO NOT match up perfectly even though the plates are the same size. In the example of a straight road plate, the old one has sidewalks that start 7 studs from the edge as well as narrower lanes. On the new plates, the road surface starts 6 studs from the edge, there is no sidewalk, and the lanes are wider. The road lines are also thicker. Take a gander at my included images and you’ll see what I mean. Now cry.So, my advice? Do what I did. Retire your old LEGO road plates in a hail of gunfire then go with the will of the people and buy new ones. You just cannot and should not mix and match old and new road plates. At least if you suffer from “LEGOCD”, a syndrome in which witnessing non-matching LEGO may cause increased hypertension, cold sweats, and a variety of spasmodic genital dysfunctions.